Instead, I married this person who makes her own kombucha and charges her crystals under the new moon. A strong, virile creature who read tons of books and could fuck up a wolf ? Yes please! Sign me up! I could’ve lain awake every night waiting for Mufasa to save me from a wildebeest stampede in a gorge, but do I climb into bed next to a fucking lion? No, bitch, because I am realistic. Her essays are so relatable, theyre healing' - Washington Independent Review of Books, Most Anticipated Books of 2020 'These essays from the bestselling Irby come with an irresistible endorsement from Jia Tolentino, who says there is 'truly no one like Samantha Irby for making you actually choke (on poop jokes) laughing out loud. Shit, growing up I wanted to marry the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Then it won’t feel like such a compromise, you know? On top of that, it’s totally unfair to make a flesh-and-bone person compete against an imaginary ideal that was imprinted on you when you were too young to understand what was happening. Dude, I would rather settle than be “chronically unfulfilled due to my outsize desires.” I don’t mean that you should marry someone you hate just because they won’t go away, but I do think it’s worth examining what you actually want while being honest about what is important to you.

is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable.“Settling” is a coarse way of saying “adjusting my expectations,” and I think that gets a bad rap. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with 'tv executives slash amateur astrologers' while being a 'cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person,' 'with neck pain and no cartilage in knees,' who still hides past due bills under her pillow. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She writes with such wisdom about our culture and such honesty. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. Samantha Irbys Wow, No Thank You is a gift that everyone should give themselves and each other.

Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.” -Jia Tolentino, New York Times bestselling author of Trick Mirror

A rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays from the New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.

Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction Award Winner.

Wow no thank you samantha irby